It’s been quite some time since my last blog. I feel like a lot has changed when I look at how my baby has grown since my last post. But if the basis is how life moved in general, well we’re still in a pandemic and quarantining is still the norm — not much has changed in that regard.
What I came to realize in the past couple months that I haven’t been blogging is that being on an extended maternity leave, while incredibly beneficial for both mom and baby, it’s also surprisingly lonely and isolating at times. It’s like being in your own bubble with your child. Being on maternity leave during a pandemic is like a double bubble, a bubble within a bubble.
People — your family, friends, coworkers — go on with their lives, while you’re at home watching your child. When you catch up with them, it feels like so much have changed in their lives; whereas all you can talk about is how much your baby has grown. Sometimes it will make you question, well, do they even care about that? Every update you have about your life is about your baby.
That’s one thing I’m learning to balance. While some people in my life don’t mind and actually love hearing about my baby’s new milestones — which I’m always proud and happy to talk about; there are some who would still want to hear about me. That is, the part of me that is not a mom. The part of me that is not solely defined by my baby.
I’m not gonna lie — for a while, it really felt like all I do is be a mom. Don’t get me wrong, I find so much joy in being a mom and caring for my baby day in and day out. However, (and I’m not sure if this happens to every new mom) there came a point when I thought, well before being a mom I had my own interests too. So I thought I shouldn’t let go of those just because I added being a mom to my identity.
So slowly and gradually, I’ve been devoting time to the things that used to drive my curiousity.
Lately, I’ve been spending my free time — which really isn’t that much, mainly 30-60 minutes before bedtime — reading up on various topics on economics and finance. It feels incredibly satisfying to go back to these things that I have always loved learning about.
I guess that’s one thing new moms should learn to balance — perhaps, not early on right after having a baby but later on as we get a better hold of things as new moms. We shouldn’t lose ourselves, our interests, our individuality, in the process of becoming the best moms for our kids. After all, our kids would love to learn from our passions and interests and this may eventually help them find their own. 💖