This is my Medela PISA (pump-in-style advanced). She’s been my best and worst buddy for the last several months. Sometimes I like her, sometimes I don’t like her too much.

Side note: This is not a Medela-sponsored post.

She’s seen me during my highs and lows of exclusive pumping. The highest point was the first time I was able to fill my Medela storage bottles — over 13 ounces of breastmilk — from one pumping session! *cue Celebrate Good Times by Cool and The Gang*

The lowest point was literally me being low on the floor, dangle pumping because of several clogged milk ducts! 🤦🏻‍♀️

The other day I saw a post on IG asking “what’s the hardest part of exclusive pumping for you?” The answers were varied from an army of exclusive pumping mamas. For me, my first, immediate answer to this question is the toughness of the schedule. However, other than that, exclusive pumping gives me all sorts of emotions. Here are some of them.

Let’s start with the not-so-good part so we finish off on a positive note —

😔 It makes me dread getting up in the morning.

Having to get up super early for my morning pump has been a real challenge especially because I was never a morning person. Now, either my internal body clock had adjusted or my heart just feels the heaviness and fullness of my breasts so it sends signals to my brain to wake my sleeping ass up and hear the begging from my two melons wanting to be emptied.

😔 It makes me feel hesitant to get out of the house or have people over.

Throughout the day, I still gotta hook to my PISA. In the first few months, I didn’t want to step out of the house because I only had a small window in between pumping sessions. Now that my supply has regulated and I can go several hours in between pumps, I’m still a bit hesitant to go out for long periods of time because I am not comfortable pumping in public places.

There is this whole movement about normalizing exclusive pumping and I absolutely support it. I feel proud for mamas who can pump while sitting in the beach, driving/sitting in their cars, out at the park, grocery shopping, etc.

While my PISA is a portable breast pump, I just couldn’t drag myself out of the house and convince myself that I can pump in public. I guess I just haven’t mustered that confidence even if I know that I shouldn’t care about what other people would think of me because the most important part is that I am able to provide breastmilk to my baby.

In a way, quarantine life helped me in this regard because we were stuck at home anyways and there was no need for me to really get out of the house. However, with things opening up again and my baby growing up and loving the outdoors, there is this new challenge for me to time my pumping sessions with going out, or travelling, or seeing family. Most of the time, I get to make it work albeit the stress and pressure.

😔 It makes me feel like I’m neglecting my baby.

It’s even more challenging when I’m alone with my baby especially now because he loves playtime.

Typically it starts off well. I can put my baby in his jumperoo or floor seat. He plays on his own and entertains himself with all the toys around him.

But as you may know, babies typically have short attention span. As soon as my little nugget gets bored, crying and screaming starts.

Sometimes I kinda just let him cry it out especially when I’m towards the end of my pumping session. But when his cries become too painful for my little motherly heart to bear, I unhook from my PISA and cuddle and play with my baby instead. I’d rather suffer from heavy and engorged breasts than make my baby feel neglected. Once he’s calm again or I get to put him down for his nap, I hook back to my PISA.

Now here’s the good part, and this trumps whatever “not-so-good” I mentioned above —

😌 It makes me happy that I’m providing my baby’s primary source of nourishment.

I love my PISA because it allows me to provide breastmilk to my baby in spite of nursing not working out for the both of us.

There are so many benefits of breastmilk and I am blessed to have the supply that I have. The only real challenge was that my baby developed a preference for bottle feeding early on and this is why I resorted to exclusive pumping. See more on this on “My Breastfeeding Story” here.

I am determined to give my breastmilk to my son for as long as I can, and it’s my PISA that’s been enabling me to do so.

😌 It makes me feel extremely proud of myself.

I’ve been exclusive pumping for almost all of 2020 and we’re already past the half-year mark. Definitely not the way I envisioned 2020 — I didn’t expect that I would be hooked up to a breast pump and be spending countless hours pumping breastmilk this year. But when the year comes to a close and my highlight is that I pumped breastmilk for the entire year, I am at peace with that.

When I see my son, happy and healthy, I can’t help but think the magical (or I should say scientific) changes that happened to my body, along with my strong determination to nourish him, makes it all possible.

I mean look at this chunky little nugget!! 😍

Related posts:

My Breastfeeding Story

My Exclusively Pumping Journey

Posted by:KT

9 replies on “Confessions of an Exclusively Pumping Mama

    1. Thanks mama! Really needed encouraging words this morning. 😭 Again, it was tough to get up and not get enough sleep 😴 but will keep pushing and take it one day at a time, one pump at a time. I appreciate your encouragement! 😌

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I breastfed full time and pumped when she wasn’t feeding so I could create a milk stash for when I went back to work… only to find out that my milk tasted soapy if left in the fridge or freezer for more than 24 hours. When I went back to work, I pumped to keep my supply up since weekends was all about the boob. What I learnt from that experience is that mothers who pump are awesome! It takes so much time and is socially awkward to do in public so you become a portable factory for your baby. Glad you stuck with it~ your baby is lucky to have a devoted mom like you 💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad breastfeeding worked out for you. I only nursed for a bit but I know it‘s hard work as well. Yea I heard about this issue that some moms have. Their breastmilk is high in lipase so it has that funny smell/taste after some time. I’m lucky I don’t have the issue and while pumping is tough, I’m glad it’s working out for me and my little one. Thanks for reading my post and for your encouragement, Shelly. Definitely needed that! 😌

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I sure do remember those breastfeeding/pumping days gone by. I had so much breast milk instead of wearing those pads at night when I went to bed I laid a towel down to soak up the spillage. When I’d take a shower I looked like I had two twin fountains shooting out! In fact, with my daughter, I had to freeze the breast milk I had so much of it. Let’s just say I was born to breastfeed.
    Your right, it does make you very proud that you provide your baby’s nourishment. My babies were chunky as well. Good job!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I got to a point where I needed breast pads because of leaky breasts but never needed a towel at night! You must have had really good supply, maybe oversupply? Breastfeeding is beautiful and this is why I can’t quit pumping. Even if I can’t nurse, at least my baby still gets nutrients from my milk. It’s tough to pump all day every day but I do it for my kid. Thanks for the encouragement today, Sheryl! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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